A few days ago I was talking to my cousin Natalija and she said to me: “Have you ever thought that you would be working on yourself so much?” And my answer was “No.” But why? Because I was never taught that I should work on myself or better myself in any meaning of the word. It’s crazy that life can turn around in such a different way and me, working on myself, is one of the best things that could’ve happened to me.
Natalija is somebody, who was by my side through good and bad, and I can’t tell you, how grateful I am for her. She is one of my best friends and as I said, she was always there for me. And still is. She was always there, when I needed help, a hug or just a friendly advice. She was there for me, when I needed somebody to talk and listen to. She is an amazing friend and even though I don’t tell her that enough, I really appreciate everything that she has ever done for me and I am really, really happy and grateful that she has been on this journey with me. And just because she was always there for me, she knows me very well and that question from the other day was not just a coincidence.
She knows how unhappy and unsatisfied I was, when I was in primary and high school and she knew that even though I was happy and smiling at that time, that I was only ‘faking’ it. And that was probably the time that we connected the most, because she understood me and even though she couldn’t have done anything, she listened to me and tried to help me. We have very similar personalities and that’s probably why we connected so much. We feel the same, we act the same, even our goals and dreams are similar as well. That’s why she can understand me so well.
When I started dieting and then fell into an eating disorder, she was one of those, who weren’t judging me for what I’ve done and one of those, who truly told me that they are worried about me. And believe me or not, there were not a lot of people who cared as much as she did. She was there for me, when I was recovering, she was there for me, when I gained my weight back, she was there for me, when I started with healthy and active lifestyle and she is still here for me today. She was with me, when I was dealing with my health, school and family problems. She was practically always there and I’m thankful to her, with my whole heart.
And because of that and many other reasons, I started crying, when she asked me that question about a week ago. She knows me so well and that’s exactly why this question meant so much to me. She knows I’ve changed a lot in the last year and a half and even though I am a totally different person now, she still loves me and supports me. She knows how much I’ve actually changed and one thing that also meant a lot to me was this: “It’s a real pleasure to see you so satisfied with yourself and happy and positive.” This is something I’ve been working on for about 2 years and I know some people aren’t okay with that. But, let me tell you this one more time: whatever you’ll decide, will always affect a lot of people in a positive way and some of them in a negative way. You will lose some of them, but you will gain a lot of them. The most important thing is that you choose what is best for you and not for others. I did that and that’s why I am the person whose blog you are reading right now.
Nothing in life is easy. Everything you decide, has it’s own consequences. good and bad. And believe me, I definitely know that. But I suggest you that you always listen to your heart and to yourself, because whatever you’ll decide, will be your own best choice. If you feel that you are not in the best place and want to change something, do it. I gave myself a chance and I am happy and positive, even though there are still some people who intentionally want to prove me wrong. But if I’ve learnt anything, I know that I have to stand behind my choices and myself and I’m glad that I do. I’m much stronger as a person and even though some people still want to play with my mind, unfortunately for them, they don’t have a chance.
I was working on myself in the past, I am still working on myself now and believe me or not, I will work on myself in the future as well. It’s truly a lifetime process and it’s probably because you can always become a better version of yourself. Set small goals, work on yourself and sooner or later you’ll come to a point in your life, when you’ll feel happy with yourself and your life. Nothing happens over night and working on yourself requires patience and determination and dedication. But when you will look how far you have come, you will be surprised. A lot can happen in a year, two or even more. I’m a totally different person today than I was a year ago. Why? Because I wasn’t myself back then and I finally found out who I am, who I want to be and what I want in my life. And I will get it, because through this process of working on myself, I learnt how to stay determined and go after what I want. I hope you do the same.
Until next time,