Being alone. All alone. By yourself. Is it healthy or not? Is it really that bad to be alone or does it look like something worth thinking about? Spending time by yourself, at home or somewhere out there, used to be something that people were always afraid of. And if you were somebody that used to spend a lot of time by yourself, all alone, you were ‘weird’ or somebody that doesn’t socialize a lot. But, I think that over past few years, we finally adopted the mentality of being alone and that it’s actually not that bad.
If you knew me 2 or more years ago, you know that I wasn’t a very sociable or communicative person. I used to be very shy, I never told my opinion and I just wanted to be alone, so that nobody would’ve bothered me. That was me and I just couldn’t walk out of my skin. I spent a lot of my time by myself, but in a very different way that I actually do now. I used to study a lot and that requires to be by yourself and everything else that I did, I was doing by myself, such as watching movies or just scrolling through my phone. I almost never went out or hung out with my friends. Yes, I had friends, but I just didn’t want to go out. I just wanted to be alone. That’s all good, but if you’re somebody who wants to be alone all of the time, I think that that just isn’t good for your health. And I don’t mean just physical health, especially mental health. I was always somebody who was very shy, but spending all that time by myself, made me ever more shy and I had and still have issues with talking to people, especially strangers. And that was probably the biggest consequence of spending too much time by myself.
However, spending time by yourself can be amazing as well. When I finally realized that I have to change something in order to be different and better version of myself and when I changed the mentality, that precious time of being alone, became so much better and funnier and definitely much needed. What did I change? First of all, the purpose of me-time. I always used to spend time by myself, because I wanted peace and nobody bothering me. But now, I do it, because I want to develop myself more, because I want to become better version of myself and because I just love to spend that time by myself and in no way just to be isolated from the people. I became much more sociable than I used to be and much more talkative than I used to be and me-time is definitely not my escape from the world. I love to read books (or listen the audio versions) and watch different self-development videos/movies, I love to go out and just enjoy the nature. I love to go for a run and be with my thoughts. I love to write my gratitude journal or write a new post for my blog. I love to write random thoughts of mine or color my coloring book. But I also love to paint my nails, put a face-mask on and just pamper myself in some kind of way. I love to cook a delicious lunch or dinner for myself and enjoy it by myself. And it’s nothing wrong with that. Me-time is a part of my day and week and that’s all because I love it so much that I just can’t imagine to miss the opportunity of being alone. It actually helped me in so many ways. The biggest difference is my personal growth – I think differently, I act differently, I became more sociable and especially more talkative (you can barely stop me now). And I love it! I can always find something that can destress and relax me and that is also one of the biggest reasons why I need time for myself. And if you ask me, everybody needs it. Why? Because we live in a world that constantly wants something from us, especially our time. People are under huge pressure and stress and at least 15 minutes by ourselves can help us so much.
One more thing that I also recognized is that people, especially women in a relationships, can attach to somebody really quickly. And when that somebody is gone, they don’t know how to be alone. I think that’s why it’s also very important to have that alone time, even when you are in a relationship. You have to learn how to be by yourself and how to spend some time alone. Don’t be afraid to do it. You need to have that alone time just for yourself and not to be defined by a person. Especially if you are in a relationship. You can’t be with your partner all the time. Spend some time reading your favourite book or taking a bath or going to the cinema with your best friend. Believe me, even your partner will appreciate it. And if you learn how to spend time by yourself in a relationship, you won’t have issues spending time by yourself when you are alone or single.
I want to share this quote by Bianca Sparacino with you: “Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this, you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own, stunning clarity, and when you meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself.” Spending time with yourself will teach you who you are, what are you capable of and when you learn everything about yourself, it will also help you to accept, love and be yourself. And when you are truly yourself, somebody else will recognize your soul and everything else will fall into place. So, take that time for yourself and be alone, because it can only help you to become better.
Until next time,