You are probably asking yourself what the hell does the title mean. Let me reassure you. It’s about happiness. I read an amazing quote this morning (I also posted a photo on my instagram account) and it says: “Happiness begins with you. Not with your relationship, your friends, or your job. But with you.” And when I wrote the caption for the photo, I immediately knew what todays post will be about. I may be a little bit harsh with my writing and thoughts, but everything I’ll write about is my opinion and it’s true. Hope you enjoy it!
Who is responsible for your happiness? You probably already know the answer. YOU are responsible for it. Just like you are responsible for your decisions and your actions, you are responsible for your happiness. It probably sounds confusing, but I will explain just in a little bit. I used to be very unhappy with my life before. I didn’t have any goals or dreams I was looking forward to, I didn’t do anything that was exciting for me – I was just living day by day with no special intention. I never did anything new, because I was scared of failure and the unknown. Usually people, especially my family and closest friends, asked me, why I didn’t do something. And I always found an excuse. Always! No matter what the situation was, I always found something that was or was going to be wrong and that was my excuse for not doing something. I knew that it was bad, but not until I really looked over my life and actually saw that I haven’t accomplished much. Yes, I’m still young, but I already missed on so much amazing opportunities and experiences. What I didn’t realized is that all those things, from missed opportunities to not meeting certain people, actually made me really unhappy. Fortunately I know this now, but I can’t bring everything back. I don’t regret anything from my past, because those are also situations that made me who I am today, but looking on myself not being happy as I should be, really made me think a lot.
As I already said, I’ve always found an excuse. The most common ones were that I don’t have time, that I have to study, that I don’t have money and believe me or not, I used to guilt others as well. I blamed somebody else for my unhappiness. Crazy! Me, you and everybody else is responsible for its own happiness. And you can say whatever you want, but this is my opinion and I won’t deviate from it. Being unhappy is all your ‘fault’, if I can say so. I’ll give you some examples of an excuses I hear a lot from other people, who are unhappy or who have reconciled themselves with their situation.
1. “I’m in this really bad relationship. I love him, but I don’t see our future together. I’m really unhappy.”
Love relationships are the ones I usually hear about. Somebody is unhappy, because the relationship isn’t something they thought it would be, but they are afraid of letting it go. Really? Will you rather be in an unhappy relationship for the rest of your life or would you rather be alone, but happy? Being alone isn’t wrong at all. It gives you some space for yourself, to find who you really are, to find your happiness. And if that means ending unhappy relationship, do it. The right guy or girl will cross your path when the time is right.
2. “I’m so unhappy. I love spending time wth my friends, but they always criticize and judge me. I don’t know what to do.”
Well, friendships are similar to love relationships. If your friends judge you and your actions, if they don’t believe in you, if they always find something to tease you about, if they bring out the worst qualities of yours, if they are negative all the time – why have friends like this around you? If you are not happy within your circle of friends, change that circle for something more positive. “It’s better to stand alone and feel strong than stand with people who make you feel weak,” is a quote by Steven Aitchison and it’s 100% true. Yes, standing alone sounds scary, but if that means that you’ll be happier, do it. Believe me, right people will come into your life sooner or later.
3. “I’m not happy with my job. I’m not happy with my body. I’m not happy with myself.”
Those are also the most common 3 sentences that include happiness as well. If you are not happy with your job, find something that will make you happy and won’t make you feel like you are actually working. If you are not happy with your body in whatever aspect you look at (want to lose weight, gain muscle, have more energy), start eating healthier and start exercising. You can do anything you imagine and when you’ll start doing the things you actually love and want, you will become happier with every step you take.
Happiness is something you won’t get over night. You can’t wake up in the morning and say to yourself: “I’m happy today.” You have to work for your happiness every single day, week after week, month after month. When everything, from your job to relationships with yourself and others, fall into place, you’ll be happy. I still think that you can’t be 100% happy with everybody and everything that happens to you, but I believe that you can get to a point in your life, when you say to yourself that you are satisfied with yourself and your life and that you are happy. Gratitude helped me a lot on my journey to happiness as well. Be grateful for everything you have and for every single person in your life that brings the best out of you. But be grateful for those who were a true pain in the ass as well – because they helped you to grow and move forward. I will finish this post with a quote from Dodinsky: “The key to being happy is knowing that you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.” You are in charge of your happiness and nobody else.
Until next time,