It’s been a week, since I posted my last blog post. I didn’t write it on Saturday, because it was last day of the year and I wanted to take some time for myself and reflect everything that happened in 2016. But I’m back and I have some amazing stuff to share with you this year. I’m excited and I hope you’ll enjoy my writing as much as I do. But, before jumping into todays post, I wanted to wish you a magical year 2017. I wish you a full jar of happiness, health and love, I hope you take more time for yourself and your loved ones, do the things that you love, the things that excite and scare you at the same time and last, but definitely not least, don’t worry what people think about you – they will judge you anyway. Be grateful and enjoy 2017!
So, todays topic will be connected to probably the hardest time in my life, but the one that definitely opened my eyes and brought me to the point, where I am today. I think I already mentioned this in my first post (My story – if you haven’t read it yet, you definitely should), but this time, one year ago (December 2015), my parents split up. Even though I tell you literally everything, I think that the story, why and how it happened, isn’t as
important as what I want to tell you. The whole situation was hard for all of us – my mother and us, children. I’ve tried to help my mother as much as possible and I didn’t care about myself. I think that keeping myself occupied all of the time, made me forget how I felt at that moment. I didn’t want to sit down and think about myself. And that wasn’t good for me and my health. I felt responsible to help my mother and be always there for her, but it was some kind of me, dealing with the whole situation. You are probably asking yourself, why I didn’t go to a friend and tell her/him everything. It’s not that there wasn’t somebody that I could’ve talked to, but I just didn’t want to annoy them with my own problems (now I know that it’s better to talk to someone and get everything out of your head). So, every emotion or feeling I had at that moment, stayed inside of me and believe me, it was a lot. From anger, dissapointment, sadness, confusion, emptiness, anxiety, worry and especially negativity – literally everything I could’ve imagined. And I was just waiting for it to explode. Those feelings were literally tearing me apart and as harsh as it sounds, I started losing myself.
The situation was slowly getting better, especially for my mother, but not for me. I was still lost in my own eyes and even though everything looked fine on the outside, it was not on the inside. Not until I finally decided that it can’t go on like this and that I have to change something. I was not where I wanted to be and the only option I had, was to move on. Move on from the negative thoughts and finally started accepting positivity in my life. I slowly opened myself to others, let my feelings go away and believe me or not, I became a totally different person than I was before. It’s crazy, it seems impossible, but believe me, it’s real. When you decide to accept happiness, positivity and new opportunities in your life, everything is possible. It’s hard, but it’s possible.
Why am I even writing about this today? Especially because there are so many lost people in the world and I know that at least one person will find himself/herself in my story. Not in the exact same story, but they will find a point in their life, where they felt lost (or still are) and couldn’t move forward. It happens and it happens a lot. The most important thing in that moment is that you should not feel sorry for yourself and you should not complain about the situation you are in. Yes, it’s not easy, because when you are that low in your life, the last thing to thing about is the solution. But you have to find the courage to change something. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in that same place and you won’t move forward. Let those bad feelings disappear and make a room for positivity and happiness.
I read an amazing quote from Mooji today and it says: “Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go.” Imagine a friend that comes to sleep to your place, because she doesn’t know where else to go. It’s okay with you, but after 2 weeks, you just wish she would leave. Not because you don’t like her anymore, but you just need some time and space for yourself. There is nothing wrong with it, you still love her, but you just want your peace back. It’s similar with feelings, that’s why I love this quote so much. You will feel sad or angry or disappointed in some point of your life, but don’t overstress about it. Let that period of negative emotions come, but remember, just like a visitor at your place, those feelings will sooner or later pack up and leave.
If I can give you one and last advice for this post, I will tell you this: if your past was bad, full of drama, toxic people and events you didn’t like, don’t dwell on it. Be courageous and take a step forward. Distance yourself from negative people that bring drama into your life and make a decision that will change you and your life. Everything depends on you and your action. You are a writer of your own story – be sure to write a good one.
If you don’t believe my words, believe my story: from a shy, unconfident, scared, sad person to a person, full of energy, goals, positivity, courage, confidence. From a girl who never stood for herself to a girl, strong enough to chase her goals, even if there is nobody who supports her. From a girl, who couldn’t ran a single mile to a girl, who ran her first half-marathon. Yes, that’s me and my story. And you can be one of that people too. You just have to take a decision and jump.
Until next time,