“I wouldn’t wanna be anybody else,” sings Selena Gomez in her song Who says. And I totally agree with it. We were all born to be unique, to do something unique and not copy anybody else. But todays society tells us to ‘fit in’, ‘to be like everybody else’ and ‘to not be different’. Wrong! We should all be who we truly are and do what we truly want to do. With no pretence, hypocrisy and lies. But it all depends on you: Do you want to be like 90% of other, ‘normal’ people, or do you want to be that 10% who stay true to themselves, are who they really are and not submit to the rest of the world?
I won’t lie, loving yourself and staying true to yourself can be really hard sometimes, but it’s possible. I was someone who didn’t have good opinion about myself. Not that I hated myself, but I didn’t accept all my flaws and embarrassments. We all have advantages and disadvantages, nobody’s perfect. But now, when I look back on myself and relationship that I had with myself before, I was more concentrated on my flaws than on my talents and skills that I was good at. Mostly, because I was always mocked at because of my appearance and because other people always made me feel that I’m not good enough. And that’s where the insecurity in myself appeared. I lost my confidence, courage and belief in myself and everything I was doing. I still have those insecurites, but not as much as before, because I’m working on myself, on my personal growth in order to overcome them. We all have a choice to change ourselves – to be better, positive and happy. And I decided that I want to live my life in my own way, not what others want me to live like.
You know, people hide from themselves and don’t know who they are and what they feel. It’s always important that you are good to yourself. Life gets so much better, when you love and accept yourself for who you really are. It’s not selfish to love yourself – opposite! Love yourself as you are right now; love all your flaws and use them to bring out your uniqueness. Once you accept your flaws, nobody can use them against you. Many of us won’t love ourselves until we lose weight, get a dream job or have a boyfriend/girlfriend. But the truth is that even when you lose weight for example, and if you haven’t loved yourself before, you won’t love yourself after, because you will want to progress even more. You have to love yourself before, during and after the process. If you’re not willing to love yourself today, you won’t love yourself tomorrow, because whatever excuse you have today, you’ll still have tomorrow.
Don’t be afraid of your most unique and passionate parts – they are the direct path to love and to personal greatness. You have to love yourself in order to love anybody else. As I said, nobody’s perfect – we all have strengths and weaknesses. Use them to improve yourself. Invest in yourself and work on your personal growth and development. Day by day. Believe me, you will become stronger and more confident. You have the opportunity to be the best version of yourself and make the most out of it. What makes you unique? What are your talents? If you are good at singing, join a choir and sing. If you are an amazing photographer, go out and photograph. Whatever talent or passion you have, develop it as much as possible.
Another thing – never wait for approval of others. You can sit day after day and wait that somebody will accept what you’re doing, but sooner or later you’ll realize that it’s a waste of time and that it won’t work out. Yes, you will avoid disapproval and criticism, but do you have any idea how many opportunities you will miss? Probably not. The need for approval is negatively impacting your performance – you procrastinate, avoid doing important things, feel anxiety and fear, and get stuck in worry and rumination. And it usually results into giving up on yourself or on what you’re doing. It’s important that you decide for yourself: what is most valuable, effective or important to you? Keep this in mind: It’s your life, your future, your decisions, your consequences.
I hope that I didn’t go off the topic too much, but what I want to tell you is that you should love yourself, the whole package. Don’t try to fit in with everybody else. Be yourself. Love yourself. Do the things that you love. Be courageous. And don’t care what others think of you; there will always be at least one person who will criticize you or your decisions. Be who you are, improve every day and try to become the best version of yourself. Right people, who will love you for who you are and support you, will come into your life, sooner or later. Don’t worry about that so much. Just be yourself.
Until next time,