My name is Tinkara, I’m 21 years old and I come from Slovenia. I finally decided to start writing a blog. Writing and inspiring others was always my passion, but I’ve never gathered enough courage to start my own blog. But the day has come and I’m here, ready to share a little bit about myself.
As I said, I’m 21 right now and I’m the middle child in a family – I also have older brother and younger sister. I was always a “chubby” child, but I didn’t mind. When I was in primary school, I was very active; I was running, playing football, volleyball, basketball, literally everything that I could have found at that time. But I was eating really badly. Even though I knew that it wasn’t good for me, I wasn’t thinking about consequences for my body and I was happy with myself.
I was also very good and hard-working girl. I had excellent grades in school and my parents were always proud on me. I was always kind and helpful to people, even though not everybody appreciated my help.
Then high school came. I met new people and as shy as I was, I found it really hard to connect to people. And there’s when everything began. My self-esteem was low, I was laughed at because of my look and bad skin and I started feeling unwanted in company. I started thinking about losing weight and everything, but I waited until my 2nd year in high school. Then I decided that I should do something about myself and about my eating habits. But, I didn’t want to do it for myself, I wanted to do it for others. So, that other people would accept me and I would live happily ever after. Wrong! Now I know that it was a really bad idea, but at that time, I just wanted to lose weight and feel accepted – no matter what.
So, my journey began in August 2012. I ate very little, I think 3 meals per day, but I didn’t eat from 6am to 5pm, until I came home from school. I didn’t drink water and I exercised daily, but not heavily. I lost over 15kg in 4 months and then another 10kg in next 6 months. I felt really proud of myself, because I looked differently, people asked me, how I did it and I was ‘happy’. The reality was that I was tired all the time, I was scared of food, I looked exhausted (like a zombie), I was dehydrated, I was losing my hair like crazy and I also lost my period. So, nothing about me losing weight, was right, but I reached my goal.
After our graduation trip in September 2013, I realized that it can’t go on like this. I was hungry all the time and I just wanted to eat. So, I started eating again and of course I gained my weight back. It was not rapidly, but in few months, I almost came back on my starting weight. I had really low confidence at that time and I literally didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt that I disappointed myself and every single person around me, who ever believed in me. But at least I ‘lived’ again.
In October 2014 I went on Uni. I was studying all the time and I barely found time to exercise. I also didn’t look much on what I was eating. But I was still very passionate about living and eating healthy, I just couldn’t find time. I was also adapting on life in a dorm, in another city, living by myself and trying to study as hard as possible.
One year later, in October 2015, my parents split and next 2 months were really difficult for my family, especially for my sister who was still living at home. I was down all the time, didn’t care about Uni and my health. I tried to help my mother and be with her as much as possible. But I forgot on myself again. I was down, especially emotionally, but I didn’t want to show my feelings. I was someone, who gathered all the feelings inside me, not showing them, because I didn’t want to trouble people with my own problems. And the result of that was, that I was smiling on the outside, but in reality dying on inside.
But then, my life literally turned around. In November 2015, my friend Kristjan wrote me for the first time about Herbalife and I was like: “Nah, I don’t wait to have any business with it.” I was against Herbalife, because I heard that it’s not good for you and this and that and I just didn’t want to be connected to it. But he was patient and in January 2016, he invited me on HOM and I decided to go. I don’t know why, but I just wanted to go there and get done with it. Something in me wanted me to be there. So, I went and it was good, but I still didn’t decide if I want something more or not. In February, I finally decided that I want to try trial pack and from there, everything went up. I became member in March, joined Level 10 challenge, started going to the gym, went on my first STS in April and became SC in May.
The result is obvious and I’m still working on it, but what I want to tell you is how I feel about everything. I was always helping others, but I forgot on myself, what I really want and not what others want me to be. It’s not about what they think of you, it’s how you feel about yourself and what a person you want to become. Don’t look on others opinion, just be yourself.
Through years, I learned a lot about myself and what I want in my life. In last 9 months, while being at Herbalife, I learned so much and I know I’m a better person now. I know I already wrote whole essay about it, but I can’t tell you in words how grateful I am for this opportunity. I finally know what I want to do in life – help others. I want to help people to live healthy and to be happy with themselves. I finally feel happy and accepted and that’s what counts the most. But without belief in myself, my goals and motivation and support of amazing people that I have beside me, I wouldn’t make it. And that’s why I’m so thankful for every single person who helped me on this journey so far.
I am happy and I’m proud to say that. I’ve never in my life had such an amazing people around me and the ones who support and love me for who I really am. I’m so much more confident, positive, strong, powerful and I believe in myself and people around me. But mostly, I’m proud of every single decision I’ve made in last 9 months. I finally have dreams and goals, I finally stand behind my decisions and I have purpose in life. I want to help and inspire people, because I love what I do. I’m passionate about it and I believe in it. I love everything that I do – without love and care I wouldn’t be able to do it. So, find something that you love and you will see; it won’t be an obligation or job to you, you will just live it.
And here is little something for you all: never give up on your dreams. If you want something, work on it, change your mindset if needed. Take risks. Challenge yourself. Enjoy the journey, be happy and be yourself.
Until next time,